Remember

When I was a little younger than my age today

I use to memorize all the things people say.

I am expert in memorizing lines

Oh did I mention I love poems?

I love details, I lavish it.

I am keen and observant and always remember 

peoples names, what they wear, what they did.

I am like a detective.

But for the past years I suffered from memory loss.

It all started when I got into this meditation I've read in books.

Self help books for losers like me 

and no it is not DUMMIES for beginners etc.

It is a book to heal emotional wounds and pain learning

how to forget and forgive people.

I learned to completely cut the bonds.

Free myself from suicidal attachments.

I learn to forget everything and I master it so much

sometimes when I think about the people who hurt me

I just CAN'T REMEMBER what they did to me.

Why is it that all the people I love 

is already dead?

Why, just why.

They are born in a different era.

I really feel I fit in on old ages and times.

I really think I've been in hell last year.

Total injection of lies from people.

Why do you all fucking lie, just why.

It really kills me, its more of a gut pain

A self inflicting shit.

Oh gosh, just GROW up people.

Stop lying and all.

Why is it so easy for you to hurt other people's feelings?

Fuck you all. Inconsiderate minions.

I was lost again in the topic I was typing

until I go back to top yeah.

I just cant remember almost the memories

that is so close to me.

Memories that hurted me , people who hurted me.

No matter how hard I try I can't remember anymore.

Maybe some but mostly I just can't remember it.

I applied the book so much it came to a point

that in my daily life I can't hardly remember things everyday.

It's like a psychological effect on making some

things vanish at your memory.

Bad memories I erased.

I am really hurting inside.

No one is missing me or looking for me

when its almost a year or some months.

I don't feel any good as a friend.

Well you love and love

And all these people just hurt me too often

And I came to a point all the love is gone

I can't really love anymore...

But I can't help it, I care.

I wonder if I can save up money

So someone will take care of me when I'm old.

Cause I have a feeling I will grow alone.

I hurt so much inside...

I easily forget things, I am like an old lady.

I forgot the memories.

But why do I feel so alone,

I still hurt so BAD everyday...

without knowing WHY.