I just keep wondering about people.
I took this psychological test last month.
Happens to be I am an INTJ type of person.
I am happy that I made contact with my past ex's.
Making peace and all.
As you grow older you realize letting go is important.
Being mature enough to face reality and forgiving.
I can see myself being alone since last year.
Like I really can't cope with the idea
of having someone again.
From my experiences, all I can see is the new born me.
Someone who wants to help gradually.
Maybe it is just me but I can see being in a relationship
limits your goodness to other people.
Maybe it really depends on the couple.
But you see, it all starts with a family.
Everyone looks for food for their love ones or family.
To feed their young and nurture the things their wife
or kids desire.
Ofcourse they will first help and go
for the needs of their own family.
I don't know why I feel selfish about it?
I feel like I just wanna help in general not looking
on how close this person is to me.
And when you are in a relationship
you have all this miserable feelings.
You need to feel love, mutual agreements
and at times its just being an addiction.
Like you are owning someone.
I am not saying it is bad to be in a relationship.
But I guess you need to be more mature.
You need to know what really love and commitment is.
That is just not for me as I see now.
I don't want to limit myself for others.
I am a free being, adventurous and loves to
meet all kinds of souls.
Although it is a silent soul, it is happy
helping others and knowing them.
I graduated on that idea and feelings.
As I grow older I continue to see myself.
The self that is hidden away from society.
The self that is innocent and knows
what it really love.
My soul, myself is fond of travelling.
Many times I see myself dying young.
I can see myself living alone and just being contented.
I am happy doing all the stuff I like and
enjoying so much time with my genuine friends.
As I meet the real me away from society.
I realized how isolation changed my life.
The hunger on material things goes away
and the soul is happy being touched.
My grandma told me this month before her birthday.
I should continue writing and making poems.
Oh, she knows I like reading too, she encourages me a lot!
I really love her and I feel so inspired when I am talking to her.
She said I should make a book compilation of my works.
I felt happy on what she said and have this new task!
All I wanna do now is get a job and make my parents
stop working so they can relax and do stuff they like.
Anyhow, I don't feel I have the heart for romantic stuff anymore.
I am most happy being alone and helping people.
That's the best feeling I felt in my life inside
my elf heart.
